I probably shouldn't write this post tonight considering my not-so-positive attitude I've got going right now, but unfortunately that is my current reality. I feel silly having "down" days, clearly things could be much worse, and I am so lucky to still be pregnant with this baby boy. I am blaming these unnecessary emotions on pregnancy hormones and the holidays, neither of those things seem to be helping too much right now.
Since being admitted 6 weeks ago, I have only cried a few times. Tonight, I cried when Zack asked me what I wanted for dinner. Who knows why? These 4 walls are starting to close in on me and I am craving the outside world.
Tomorrow I turn 30 weeks.
For some reason, the farther along I get, the harder bed rest gets. Clearly I would do anything to keep this baby in till 36 weeks, but I am starting to feel less anxious about the idea of him being born before that. Silly really, but I would be a liar if I didn't admit that thoughts of lunging across my room haven't crossed my mind. Don't worry, I would never do such a thing.
I am plan on waking up tomorrow with a better attitude. Let's be honest, I can't be grumpy and celebrate 30 weeks, right?
I have NO experience with a hard pregnancy or bed rest, but I can tell you that even with "routine" pregnancy you feel like this toward the end!!! Given your circumstances, no one can blame you for feeling like you do. You're a shining beacon of how you SHOULD act as a pregnant lady, seriously! Class act, darling. And when you do break down, just remember that hormones be cray!
ReplyDeleteI hope you woke up on your 30-week anniversary with a smile on your face, Danielle! You definitely are allowed down days, but what you're doing for your baby is awesome. Keep going strong, Mama!!
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